*** CONTENT WARNING **** (descriptions of childhood abuse)

Okay, so this is going to be an odd post, but here it goes.

A short time before my father and mother got divorced, he decided to take us (my sister, brother, and I) on a trip into the mountains.  The mountains, in the city I grew up in, nestled right along the city limits.  The ride up was always a little scary because the road didn’t have guard rails.  If you drove over the side, that was your ass.

Finally we arrived at a secluded wooded area at the top of the mountain.  I didn’t know what he had planned, but soon did when he took out his hunting rifles from the back of the truck.  We were children at the time (no more than 10 years of age, if I recall correctly).  He did some shooting of his own then asked us to shoot.  I’m not sure if anyone else did, but he had me hold one of his rifles.  I remember swinging the barrel around to face him and him taking hold of it and pointing it away.  He saw a lizard on a rock.  He had me point the gun at the lizard and shoot.  I don’t remember if it was him or me, but one of us hit the lizard, which exploded into hundreds of bloody little pieces.  I remember being vaguely disgusted.

Here’s the point I want to make.  My father was emotionally incestuous with us and physically abusive.  He didn’t respect physical or emotional boundaries and had no problem whipping us with electrical cord when he perceived we flouted what he believed was his authority.  This man took us to an isolated spot in the woods with guns, without the benefit of any gun safety course, professional supervision, or oversight by anyone outside of the family.

I’m not saying my father would have done anything.  I’m not even saying anything about responsible gun ownership (so don’t try any NRA, 2nd Amendment crap here, potential commenters).  What I am saying is that an emotionally inappropriate, violent man took his children to a remote area to shoot firearms, employing no discernible safety procedures, without asking his wife or his children whether or not they wanted to partake in such an excursion.

That was the last such outing we ever went on with our father.  I’m pretty sure my mom had a very direct hand in that.

I’m not saying my father would have done anything.  I’m just saying, if he wanted to, he so could have. : – (