Let’s take a look at what some Christian Mingle daters think is appropriate for their profiles:
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Christian Mingle profiles with unnecessary “Christ-isms” |
| “I would love to meet a nice [C]hristian lady who believes that God needs to be the center of a relationship. Jesus is the rock that I lean on. … I would love to share my life with a sweet lady and build a wonderful relationship [together]. One blessed by God. One full of love, commitment and devotion.” {Man} |
| “I am seeking a man that puts the Lord first. A true gentleman. He not only talks the talk but walks the walk. Also family oriented. Honest and loyal.” {Woman} |
| “I would love to meet someone that would share my love of life and all that entails with God at the center and focus! I believe and know without any reservation that I/We can do all things through Christ who strengthens us! … [B]eing evenly yoked is paramount in a solid foundation [and] lasting relationship.” {Man} |
| “I am a nice, honest, Loyal, [and] God-fearing woman. I love God first and then my family. … I enjoy doing the fun but safe things in life … most [importantly] winning souls for Christ. … I’m looking for Mr. Right, someone who loves God, … knows how to treat [a woman like] a Queen, and [is] ready to settle down.” {Woman} |
| “We must listen to the Lord and submit ourselves to His will so we can serve Him in the capacity He has chosen for us. … Being a Christian means following the Ten Commandments.” {Man} |
| “I am a single mother and I am looking for a man of faith. A man that has passion for God.” {Woman} |
| “Being a Christian is the most important thing to me. I do not care what name is on the door of your church. I only need to know that you have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ that you are totally dedicated to.” {Man} |
| “I am YAHWE-fearing. I try to live like Jesus Christ and follow His commandments each and every day. I’m also [an] upfront person [and] I know what I want so I won’t sugarcoat. I’m looking for a God-fearing man, respectful, humble and a man who loves children.” {Woman} |
| “I believe the woman who God has planned for me will have an infectious smile, a servant’s heart, the patience of Job, is equally as comfortable dressing up as she is dressing down, lives life with a great degree of humility, is an eternal optimist, has an off-beat sense of humor, has worldly intelligence, and knows that family comes before career. She will want to be want to be adored and cherished as my partner in life. She knows how to show respect and appreciation to make her husband feel on top of the world. Most importantly, she has a love of our Lord and is a follower of his word.” {Man} |
| “I am a Christian lady who hopes the man I date has the same beliefs and values as I do.” {Woman} |
| “I believe that a husband should love and treat his wife just as the Lord treats and loves the Church. Only then can you have a successful and enduring relationship. Christ gave his life as a sacrifice for those who believe and trust in Him, He gave us the perfect example as to how a man should treat and love his wife.” {Man} |
| “I’m a passionate lover of God and life and am looking for someone who is the same! Life is an adventure, and so is a life in Jesus. Fully embrace it!” {Woman} |
| “I would describe myself as being a very balanced man, a man who’s loving and compassionate, but who is also about no nonsense. So, ladies, if you come, please come correct. As I have matured over the years, life’s experiences have taught me many things and over these years I have also grown closer to God which has resulted in the loving and personal relationship that I now have with him.” {Man} |
| “[I am looking for] someone who puts god first and does the right thing.” {Woman} |
| “My Christian faith is important to me and my faith has grown over the last 25+ years but it still needs to continue to grow. It has become clear to me that God has had His fingerprints on my life and that He has been there in the good times and the worst of times.” {Man} |
| “I want someone that can talk to me about anything and I with him … as a best friend only putting God before each other.” {Woman} |
| “I am interested in a woman that loves GOD first. I know that GOD is the center and the focal point of any relationship.” {Man} |
| “I’m a woman of God and looking for someone who’s walking in the fullness of his love.” {Woman} |
| “I’m looking for a soul mate. Jesus is my Lord and Savior. I have faith that he will send the women for me.” {Man} |
| “I am looking for a man devoted to his walk with God, that should come first in his life.” {Woman} |
Great Googa Mooga. It’s like watching preschoolers trying to one-up each other in the most annoying activity ever. (“I can totally Jesus harder than you can!”)
Can we just accept at the bare minimum that daters on a Christian website are probably looking to date other Christians? If so, we can take for granted that Christianity is probably important to everyone there, right? Leave the preaching out and these people might actually seem human and relatable.
Here’s what they might sound like, if they weren’t trying to God-slam each other.
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Potential Christian Mingle profiles that almost seem real and vulnerable |
| “I’d love to meet a nice woman. I’d want to share my life with you and build a wonderful relationship together full of love, commitment and devotion.” {Man} |
| “Put me first and I’ll put you first. Let’s be honest and loyal to each other.” {Woman} |
| “I would love to meet someone that would share my love of life and all that entails. Let’s build a solid foundation and a lasting relationship.” {Man} |
| “Let’s be nice, honest, and loyal to each other. Sometimes I’m safe but mostly I’m fun. I’m looking to be committed to you if you want to be committed to me.” {Woman} |
| “Let’s listen to each other.” {Man} |
| “I’m a single woman with children. I’m passionate and looking for a man who’s the same.” {Woman} |
| “I see beyond appearances. I’d love to get to know you and eventually be dedicated to you.” {Man} |
| “I’m humble, upfront, and honest. Are you the same? Then I’d love to get to know you and eventually introduce you to my children.” {Woman} |
| “I smile easily. I try my best to be humble, optimistic and patient. Do you feel the same way? If so, I’d sure like to get to know you. Let’s go out on the town or stay at home and relax. I’m no comedian, but I sure do love to laugh. If the feeling’s mutual, I’d want to adore and cherish you, respect and appreciate you.” {Man} |
| “I’m hopeful and value compatibility. Do you feel the same way?” {Woman} |
| “I’m looking to have a successful and enduring relationship. Maybe I could have that with you after we get to know each other.” {Man} |
| “I’m passionate and love life! Are you up for the adventure? Let’s embrace it together!” {Woman} |
| “I’d like to think age has given me wisdom and perspective. But you’d have to let me know if that’s actually the case. I’d like to grow closer with someone, hopefully having a loving and personal relationship.” {Man} |
| “I seek to do right. Maybe I could do that right thing with you.” {Woman} |
| “I’m continuously growing, through the best of times and the worst of times. I’d like to share them with you.” {Man} |
| “Let’s talk about anything and everything … as best friends that care about each other.” {Woman} |
| “I want to love a woman and make her the center of my life.” {Man} |
| “I looking to love someone fully. Would you do the same for me?” {Woman} |
| “I’m looking for someone I can be faithful to.” {Man} |
| “I’m devoted and loving. If you’re the same, I’d be more than willing to walk with you.” {Woman} |
Holy fucking fuck! I might actually like these people (if I didn’t suspect they’re every bit as selfish as they appear to be). The thing is, nothing I’ve changed above would be a lie if they led with their honest feelings instead of their Jesus-approved platitudes. Who knows if they’ll ever gain the self-awareness to look, ask, and hope honestly and openly?
Now to the necessary criticism: my Christian Mingle profile all but states outright that I’m a black woman (I’m actually a black heterosexual man) looking for a woman. I have found … zero QUILTBAG profiles on Christian Mingle. There are some “possibles” and “maybes” (if I squint really hard and deceive myself).
Even though CM is supposed to make their site open to the QUILTBAG community, they’re letting that demographic languish with silence and erasure. If this continues, they’re pretty much saying you can’t be part of the Christian Mingle community if you’re not straight and cisgender. Shouldn’t the QUILTBAG community enjoy just as much hope and love as you promise to straight people inside your community as they’d probably have to realistically find outside of it?
I think this is an absolutely shitty way to treat marginalized members of your community, Christians. You could add many more success stories to your list if you acknowledged the legal and social reality around you.
AAAtheist 
I believe you’re mistaken about CM’s “QUILTBAG-friendly” status. Reviews I have seen note that it’s “straight only”. But I appreciate the preachy personals – boy howdy! Way to signal who to run for the hills from! In fact, it was only on July 1 of this year (2016) that “ChristianMingle loses lawsuit, must now include gay singles” http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2016/jul/1/christianmingle-loses-lawsuit-must-now-include-gay/
It’s only been supposedly “open” for 3 months, and even so, notice how squishy the “adjustment” to their operating policy is:
“For now, ChristianMingle will only ask a user whether he or she is a man or woman. Spark Networks agreed that within two years, it would adjust other features to give gay singles a more tailored experience, the Journal reported.”
The format was NEVER QUILTBAG friendly, in other words. Because “Christian”. From a review site: “ChristianMingle.com serves straight singles.” https://www.10bestonline.com/top_10_best_online_dating_reviews/ChristianMingle_review/
Given that Christians are notoriously hostile to QUILTBAG folks, I don’t expect to see any different on a dating site aiming for a Christian clientele. Even if same sex pairings are technically possible.
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Actually, this post was one in a series of two. You couldn’t have known (simply by reading this one) that I had previously mentioned the lawsuit you just referenced and was commenting about the fact the site still is not QUILTBAG-friendly, even after adjudication.
So I actually agree with what you just pointed out (but I had actually previously pointed it out).
Thanks, though. : – )
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