How do you get over child abuse?  Specifically, how do you learn to love yourself when the abuse filled you with self hate and feelings of worthlessness on an unconscious level?

Short answer: you don’t.

Longer, and hopefully better, answer:

You find ways to care for yourself, especially when you’re not at your best. Each and every day, find ways to value your creativity, your ethics, your joy, your capacity for love, your actual love, and your will to make a better world than you came from.

Hint: Never invite the abuser(s) to be a part of this process unless they show complete willingness to own up to their choices and atone for their horrible behavior. You don’t want to subject yourself to any more trickery, deceit, manipulation, denial, and further abuse and you let everyone, friends and foes alike, know unequivocally you will not be trifled with.

The abuse is a part of your history and you should never forget it. However, it doesn’t define you and your future. If you feel you need professional help, seek out conscientious and credentialed individuals (people that hold doctorates from universities) with a proven track record of helping people in your situation. For whatever reason, be prepared to walk away from psychologists/psychiatrists that aren’t helping you. It’s your therapy, not theirs.

Practice excellent self-care, each and every day, and know that you are much, much more than the people who failed you and filled you with self-doubt.

I wish you nothing but the best. Go forth and be the beautiful person you were meant to be.