I met this girl last Saturday.  We spoke/flirted for 3 days and I really thought she was into me.  Then on Wednesday her attitude changed drastically.  She told me that we can only be friends or nothing.  I’m heartbroken.  What should I do?

What should you do?

What do you want? You tell us.

Friendship is awesome. Can you see yourself as this woman’s friend? Does friendship with her sound like a great experience? If so, well, by all means then, embrace the platonic experience she’s offering.

Or are you so disappointed that the romantic/sexual relationship you were envisioning is no longer a possibility that you can’t be this particular woman’s friend under any circumstances? Will you be okay with her hanging out with her boyfriend/girlfriend/partner in front of you, potentially doing the boyfriend/girlfriend/partner things* right in front of you with someone else that you once wished for yourself? If the sting of jealousy is so great that you can’t hack it and get surly or angry or pretend (unconvincingly) that it doesn’t bother you, that’s a good sign you can’t be friends. Let time pass and stay out of contact with her until you give up on the idea that you can be lovers.

Believe it or not, this is a win-win situation for you and her. If you want and value her friendship, you’ve got it. If you want romance/dating/sex, you’re free to look for someone else who wants that from you.

Finally, regardless of whatever action you take, work on being the best authentic person you can be in all of your relationships (platonic, romantic, and otherwise). That way, the other people you befriend or date get someone great as well.

* PDAs, not the full monty (if you’re picking up what I’m putting down).