Not an excuse to ignore consent or bypass it. Just an acknowledgement that the uncoerced participants in erotic (and any) activity get to determine their own standards of consent, not well-meaning non-participants.

Consent itself can come in many flavors (enthusiastic, slow and easy, doing it to please someone else because you truly want to please them, etc.), not just the bouncing off the wall variety. What distinguishes all consent from coercion and violation is respecting and honoring boundaries, not the types of boundaries. People who consent to sex without orgasms don’t want their partners to try to give them intense ones. Likewise, a kinky sub that wants a vigorous spanking only won’t take kindly to attempts to initiate slow, romantic PIV.