Isn’t it odd how potential “drunk” harassers and abusers are never drunk enough not to harass and abuse people? Isn’t it odd how so many of them fit the culturally approved script of which gender is taught to initiate sexual interest? Isn’t it odd that “I was drunk” or “I don’t remember” will be the most commonly used excuses to downplay the harassment should you confront him with it? Isn’t that ODD?

(All sarcasm, by the way.)

Maybe I’m overreacting, but I don’t think so. There are two separate issues at work. One is drinking to excess. The other is harassment and potential sexual assault. The first does not invalidate the second. If you get drunk, get behind the controls of a motorized vehicle, and crash it into another driver, you’re still held responsible for the accident you created.

I don’t think this individual is a safe person to hang around with.  Perhaps it was a one-off event he’ll never repeat. You didn’t indicate how you stopped, though. Fight, flight, and freeze are all equally valid fear responses that ethical individuals recognize and respect.

And I’ll reiterate my initial point. If alcohol truly incapacitates your friend, he’d be too drunk to do anything, much less initiate intimate contact without someone’s consent. I get that people get nervous and often use drugs to mask their insecurities. However, alcohol often reveals an abuser’s true character as much as it can incapacitate a potential victim.

And no, this is not a tirade against slightly inebriated and high consensual sexual behavior. But that’s not what this is since you withdrew your consent.