*** Content Warning: Explicit Talk On Many Things Associated With “The Blackness” ***

So heads up.  This is gonna get rambly and messy.

Yeah, “Blackness.”  What’s up with that?

Blackness is whatever we black folks want it to be.  See this, non-black people?  This is not a comment about you, unless it’s a comment about you.  Your opinion is always going to be secondary (or tertiary or even quarternary) to whatever we want to emphasize and acknowledge about ourselves.  And I know some of you think we’re too loud, too bold, too whatever, and you’re gonna think we should tone it down and give it a rest and all of that.  Guess what?  There are other black folks that think the same thing.  And many of us are still gonna be as loud and as bold and as whatever as we want.  This is not a comment about you.  It’s about us and what historically was and currently is denied us.  So deal with it.

Sex.  Oh my goodness, AAAtheist did not just go there, did he?  No he didn’t!  No … he … did … NOT!  Yes, he did.  In particular (brace yourselves) … our pussies, our dicks, our asses, our lips, our skin color, and our fondness for doing it (for those of us who are fond of doing it).  Yeah, many of you are weirded out or secretly attracted to or not so secretly attracted to all of these things about us.  Just a word of advice: wait to see how we feel about these topics before the rest of you go diving in.  Don’t just start making assumptions about us because of what our bodies look like, how we dress, how we dance, or how we fuck or don’t fuck.  This has been said many, many times before.  We black folks are not a monolith.  There’s as much variation amongst ourselves as there is between and amongst other folks.  Don’t make it weird for us.  Don’t stare, don’t touch us without consent, don’t “black it up” in our presence to get in our good graces, and don’t loudly proclaim what you would or wouldn’t like to do to our bodies given half the chance.  We’re not some exotic, fuckable zebras you happened to stumble across on the savannah.  Calm the fuck down.  Some of us don’t like sex as much as many of you may want to think we do.  Some of us don’t like or want sex at all.  But plenty of us do like sex (some of us a lot) and there’s not only nothing wrong with that, there’s something wonderful and celebratory about that as well.

Hair.  AAAtheist, why are you going there?  Other people are watching!  So fucking what.  Yes, black hair, and what it is or it isn’t.  A word of advice for those of you who aren’t black.  We’ve always had the right to do whatever the fuck we want with our hair.  Again, your opinion is secondary, tertiary, quarternary, and may not even show up on our radar.  Think twice before giving what you consider a compliment or a criticism.  It’s probably gonna come off racist.  We’ve had so much enforced and internalized racism around this topic (think the hot comb and “good” and “bad” hair diatribes and what’s considered “clean” and “dirty”) that it’s basically our prerogative as a people to make our own damn choices no matter what white and non-black (and even some other black) people have to say about it.  So there.  Oh, and this should be obvious but I’m just gonna say it anyway.  Don’t touch or comment loudly without permission about our hair (and skin and ethnic features) and how “different” you think it is and they are, even if you “admire” it and those things.  Again, don’t make it weird for us.

Religion.  I know.  Black people are religious.  We black folks are so damn religious.  Look how we give it up to Jesus and dress for church on Sundays!  Except when we don’t (hi … black atheist here).  Much of our struggle reflects our African heritages, and that got subsumed into one of the only cultural institutions we were allowed during slavery.  So my interpretation of “the black church” is our collective hopes and dreams made manifest in a problematic faith tradition.  And this criticism isn’t even complete.  Think Voodoo, Santeria, Islam, sometimes Judaism, and many hidden and not so hidden African belief systems and how we’ve altered (and had to alter) our expression in them based on circumstances.  The “African-ness” was always gonna come out, and thank goodness for that!  Think how hollow and joyless much of the world’s singing and dancing and music making and fucking would be without our contribution.  And no, this is not an invitation for the rest of you non-black and self-hating black folks to mock or decry our singing and dancing and praising and fucking.  Fuck you if you think it is.  Oh, and I’m still an atheist regardless, because that position gives me the most freedom and intellectual honesty.  Again, deal with it.

Crime.  Yeah … what do you want me to say?  What I will say is … what is “crime”?  What do you want to be “crime”?  Do you get the point I’m trying to make?  Much “crime” or defined “crime” is a war on our behavior and an interpretation about our behavior.  Much “crime” is defined through many white and non-black people’s fear about us.  If you want to be afraid, go ahead and be afraid in a way that doesn’t result in our mass imprisonment and deprived economic opportunities and lack of safety.  And no, this isn’t a pass on violence and rape and murder and sexual harassment and thievery and child abuse and domestic violence and misogyny and anti-QUILTBAG attitudes and behaviors.  Plenty of us hate that shit, too.

Love.  Aw, AAAtheist, you big softy!  I know.  You’re welcome.  What can I say?  I love love.  Actual real, feel-able, tangible love, between people and amongst people.  Love in all it’s facets: erotic and platonic and silly and serious and imaginative and “traditional” and radical and revolutionary.

So there, that’s my rant.  What, you didn’t think I was going to continue on ad nauseum, did you?  It’s not our job to be the moral guardians and example-makers for society.  The rest of you pick up the pace and get better yourselves.  We’ve all got work to do and play to enjoy.