What am I (18 years) supposed to say to a girl who has a crush on me and she is 4 years older, plus we “barely” know each other? I am starting to have a crush now, and I am afraid because of her friends and the age gap?

I’m not going to do ageism in reverse. You shouldn’t do ageism in the classic sense.

You’re both legal adults. If you like calling each other “girl” and “boy” (if you’re a man), then get down with your kinky selves. But you and she are still in the category of officially declared adult members of society, no matter how you feel inside about that.

What are you afraid of? Are her friends super mean? If so, date each other if you’d like to and get your own friends. There’s no “your friends have to be my friends” rule for romantic relationships. Don’t try to make them your enemies, however. Just be your most awesome self in any case.

Everyone, at some point, is at the “barely” know each other stage in a new romantic relationship, no matter how old the participants are. That’s the fun and the fear of it all. Try focusing on the fun and the fear should abate shortly (unless you’re picking up on some deal breakers).

If you make her age an issue, then it indeed will be. You might try focusing instead on the kind of person she is, you are, and how you are together.

Now’s an opportune time for you to figure out the kind of person you’re going to be in the future. If you’re going to talk yourself out of something potentially wonderful because of the opinions of others, that insecurity is going to show and your partner(s) will pick up on that. Try convincing yourself you’re much more than good enough. If you do, she just might see and appreciate that confidence herself.

Best of luck to you both.