Is premarital sex right or wrong? Sometimes I want to have sex, but I want to preserve my virginity for my future wife. Is it appropriate to ask her straight away if she is a virgin?

Answer this question for yourself and yourself alone, honestly and without deception.

How do you envision sexual chemistry, sexual frequency, sexual experimentation, and sexual compatibility in your future married relationship?

There is absolutely no need to answer this question for other uninvolved people.

If you envision sex with your future spouse as being very important but you’re unwilling to experiment with each other until you are married, you are going to have to discuss sexuality more frankly, honestly, and explicitly than you have ever probably done so in your entire life.

Do you think you can do this? If not, you may find out, like many disappointed and resentful people, that (a) you’re fundamentally sexually incompatible with your spouse and (b) you have unwittingly committed yourself to a marital arrangement you end up hating. Trust me, that ceremony and ring will not transform your spouse into the perfect sexual partner. Get used to discussing the difficult things now before you commit yourself to something you’ll detest.

If sex is somewhat but not really that important (or not important at all) to you and your future spouse, disregard my advice.

Oh, and it’s never a good idea to ask straightaway about someone else’s sexual history. Get to know each other well first before you go there.