It’s official: Google is now your creepy neighborhood Peeping Tom … with the keys to your house.

No, no, no, you’ve got it all wrong.  Google just wants to “Smart App” your life and make everything easier for you!

Oh, great.  Google’s putting me on a pedestal and not listening to me, just like an overzealous potential boyfriend trying to win me like a carnival prize.

Google Glass!  Gmail!  Google Apps!

That’s fine, Google, but can I have my favorite panties back?

How did you know about that?

No, how did you know about that?

{* Silence. *}