How does a man that was raised to be honest about his feelings learn to close up and keep them to himself? It has never done me any good. Please don’t judge me because I have my reasons, I just don’t want to annoy you with the details.

If you’re not going to give us the details, then any information we can give you is going to be limited and ineffective at best. It’s your call, however.

My question to you is “What are you being ‘honest’ about?”

If you’re being honest about your feelings and reactions regarding something that only affects you, I would encourage you to keep being honest as a way of establishing and maintaining good boundaries. It sounds to me like people have crossed your boundaries repeatedly, then either denied they’ve done so or discounted and diminished that fact entirely. Don’t go into any unnecessary details, but repeat as many times as necessary so that inappropriate boundary violators get the message. “I don’t like that” and “No” are complete sentences (as are “I like that” and “Yes,” but the latter apply to letting people in rather than boundary defense).

If your “honesty” is just an excuse to sledgehammer undeserving others with insults, put-downs, and cruel observations (the “brutal truth”), then keep that shit to yourself (unless, of course, the people you’re being honest with are abusive, boundary-violating dirtbags themselves—then feel free to let fly).

These rules have worked pretty well for me. Hopefully they’ll work for you. All the best.