Yeah, that kinky term that says you could “top” or “bottom” instead of one or the other?  That’s terminology is as close to my sexual style as currently exists.

And yet it still falls short.  It’s not one or the other, depending on mood.  It’s those, and other things, including vanilla, but not extremely rough (but rough occasionally).

Outside of being heterosexual, cisgender, male, and black … I’m a generalist.  I don’t fit neatly into definitions.

I’m not interested in being married, but I know I’m not a polyamorist, either (even though there’s some great stuff associated with polyamory that I totally get … compersion ♥ ♥ ♥).

I wouldn’t call myself a swinger, but the ease and comfort that swingers have with the sexual I can totally relate to.

I know this relates to me being liberal, even though traditionally my community often forwards conservative sexual mores as being the only honorable choice.

I know this also relates to me being an atheist, even though, again, my community tends to favor religion as the only correct ethical path.

I know this furthermore relates to my curiosity about and affinity for QUILTBAG literature at an early age, even though the prevailing mythology and socialization set out for me was one of toxic masculinity.

And no, conservatives, this is not proof that I’m a “player” or an “irresponsible black man” or any other dismissal you might assign me because you think you know who I am.  Trust me, you don’t.

Switch: as close to me as you’ll get (and still not fully define).