Can acting as a father figure to a child who belongs to a single mother make our society a better place?

Consider this.

My mother, believing children need a “father figure” in their lives, divorced one abusive and controlling man and married another guy … who ended up being differently but equally abusive to me and my siblings.  She eventually divorced that second man, to my great relief and for the benefit of my general well-being.

Can acting as a (mother) figure to a child who belongs to a single (father) make our society a better place?

You almost never hear the question phrased that way, even though I’m sure there are people who feel a man raising children alone needs a woman in his life (probably because it’s assumed men are fundamentally incompetent when it comes to child care). I know of at least one child taken away by social services from her drug-addicted, neglectful mother and being raised by two men married to each other.

Both attitudes are based in sexism generally, misogyny specifically, and heterosexism unintentionally. What children need is at least one caring adult that unquestionably has their back, is not abusive, and will show love, concern, and support through to their adulthood.

If the child in question wants your input and attention (and if the mother in this instance is okay with it), let them know you’re there for them. But don’t do it because you think you’re being some sort of hero to the “poor” and “desperate” single mothers and “fatherless” children of the world. She and the child might be doing just fine, thank you very much.

Can (creating and adequately funding a social safety net that supports all kinds of families) make our society a better place?

I certainly think so.