As a husband, how do you answer your wife when she is complaining about how tired she is of taking care of your children, and on why should women do this unpaid job, as she can work and earn not less than my salary? She [thinks] it’s not fair.

Google (or DuckDuckGo) “second shift.” While you’re at it, search for “emotional labor” (especially unpaid emotional labor) and you’ll see that women, for the most part, have a very real historically and socially documented point you shouldn’t dismiss so easily.

If you add up all the jobs women tend to do for free, in most societies, and attach the equivalent monetary value to it, you’ll see this is not simply carping or complaining. I’m not talking about you and your relationship, which may or may not be mostly equitable. I’m talking about the misogynistic, “benevolently” or ambivalently sexist, and institutionalized historical and social trends that influence everyone. The basic idea is that the work below isn’t really considered “work” work (i.e., that you should get money for it) unless a man is doing it. When it’s a woman in a relationship (especially with a man), it’s often socially constructed and promoted as a “labor of love” that women should do sans compensation.

United States averages for paid careers/jobs

Housekeeper: $21,000/year

Child Psychologist: $67,557/year

Event (“Party”) Planner: $45,250/year

Marriage/Family Therapist: $45,906/year

Sex Worker: $215,000/year

Elder Care Assistant: $26,720/year

Are you willing (or even able) to pony up the $421,433 a year in income the average wife with children forgoes because society expects this work to be done for free? Yes, we could do a similar calculation for the benefit of men. However, notice how specifically gendered and family-based we consider the work above and you’ll see women have been shortchanged and continue to be taken for granted.

No matter how “frivolous” you might consider it, relationships (especially traditional straight ones) break up over this kind of thing. Do your fair share, then ask your wife what she thinks is a fair share. You’ll most likely be unpleasantly surprised when you find out how much you’re probably not doing.

All the best.