He’s in a long-term relationship and looking for sex. We met once and liked each other and he text messages me every day. We didn’t sleep together, but he understands I want a relationship not just a “fling.” What should I do?
This all depends on you, doesn’t it?
So, what do you want?
What he’s offering:
- Flirtatious, sexually suggestive texts.
- Sex with you outside of his primary relationship (that his partner may or may not know about or approve of). I’m betting his primary partner neither knows about his flirtation with you nor would approve of sex with you outside of the primary relationship.
What you want:
- A primary relationship, including sex, with him.
You have not indicated whether or not you’re monogamous or non-monogamous. In either case, neither relationship style works with a liar and a cheat. I’m betting this guy is triangulating multiple emotional, if not physical, affairs with clueless partners and potential partners.
Why do I think this? Because he texts you every day instead of letting you go due to your incompatible desires (him → hook-ups and no-strings-attached sex; you → a committed partnership with sex).
Are you planning on your resolve crumbling and eventually sleeping with this man? You do know that won’t make him commit to you, right? If he wanted to commit to you (monogamously or even in some polyamorous fashion), he would. He doesn’t.
Save your relationship style for individuals that want (or an individual that wants) the same thing. Move on and spare yourself the grief and disappointment he’s already giving you.
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