Where do we go from here? My wife admitted to kissing another guy during her midlife crisis and I like that she did. I would like us to get into a more sexually adventurous open marriage. She still insists on her “moral” standards.

It sounds like you’re both on completely different wavelengths.

She admitted to an emotional affair and you want an open marriage. Those aren’t the same things.

Maybe she admitted to the emotional affair to spur you to drop your insistence on an open relationship (i.e., she’s sending you the signal, “Keep insisting on an open relationship I don’t want and I’ll be doing more than kissing that other man by first leaving you for him.”)

I don’t know where you go from here. Being estranged from each other is where you both are right now.

Her moral standards are her moral standards. If she had the affair to lash out at you, you have to find out what that’s about and what part you played in it. If you both don’t want what the other is offering, you’re looking at splitting up. If you’ve always wanted to be non-monogamous and she’s always been the opposite, you were never going to make it in the first place.

Get honest now and find out what you both really want. To me, it sounds like there’s a ton of resentment between you that’s built up over the years. If your relationship is to go forward in a healthy manner, you’re going to have to address what you’ve done, what you’re willing to do, and how you’re going to resolve conflict in the future.

An open relationship should be the least of your concerns right now.