Is it universal that women and girls feel uncomfortable by sexually suggestive comments they hear made by males they are not romantically interested in or sexually already involved with?
Context matters.
A woman who observes a man that
- is clearly infatuated with another woman,
- demonstrates his respect for this other woman’s humanity,
- is willing to take no for an answer, and also
- has determined correctly the other woman’s mutual interest
will more than likely have very few, if any, complaints of this particular man’s sexual commentary (unless it’s extremely intimate in a way that would make bystanders uncomfortable—like unwittingly being involved in someone else’s romantic and sex life).
It’s called flirting and very few people have a problem observing it (from a respectful distance).
Some individuals (privately and publicly) discuss with their friends the kind of people they’d like to get with, but often do so out of earshot/view of those they fancy so as not to make the other person/people uncomfortable.
Aggressive, inconsiderate, dehumanizing, threatening commentary in public (and private) by a man (or group of men) towards random, unwilling, and uninterested women, however? That’s an almost universal “no”. Those men want something at the expense of the woman, which is almost never for her benefit.
Even if a man thinks he’s being “charming” towards attractive work colleagues, service workers, women he meets on the street or on public transportation or in elevators, he needs to ask himself this one question.
Does she/do they have the ability to get away from this encounter without being frightened, intimidated, or otherwise made to feel vulnerable specifically because of her/their gender?
I’m sure there are women that threaten men (and other women) sexually, but the vast majority of this kind of unwanted attention is from men towards women.
If men don’t want to be considered Schrödinger’s Rapist, they need to do all they can to combat rape culture.
AAAtheist 