Why do older women get pissed when a young girl (18-26) dates an older man (40+)?

Pissed at what, at whom, and for what reason?

It seems like the questioner is assuming older women are jealous of the younger woman in this scenario.

There’s a high degree of likelihood the questioner is reading potential contempt in a scenario that contains none or is reading actual contempt in exactly the wrong way.

Look up “Why I Deeply Dislike Your Older Boyfriend” at Scarelteen for the general answer. Below are the bullet points warning younger women about the older “player” and his characteristics:

• Manipulative
• Exploits the younger partner’s lack of experience
• Gets the younger partner pregnant as a control measure
• Infects the younger partner with STIs
• Abusive
• Coercive romantically/sexually or is a straight up rapist
• Compromises her education/job in order to get her dependent on him
• Demands to be in control; doesn’t take on an equal share of the responsibilities in the relationship

And so on.

Before you jump on the “feminists-are-man-hating-bullies” bandwagon, the article fairly addresses what they find problematic about this scenario.

By no means do I feel it is impossible for any man to be a good guy in relationships with an age gap. If I thought men were simply incapable of being decent human beings at any age, I’d probably be a lot less pissed off at the guys who aren’t, because it wouldn’t be a choice. But it is, and some make the choice to be much less than decent.

So unfortunately, I’m also all too aware — as is every reproductive health and teen advocacy group worldwide — that the rule, rather than the exception, is that your older boyfriend is more likely to be bad news than good. And the younger you are, the more statistically likely it is that your older partner is going to spell major league disaster for you.

Many older women have had more than their share of experience with the older player. They want to warn younger women about him and his disregard for her well being.

It’s not always a dude. It’s not always a straight couple. But it usually is. (Look up Shrodinger’s rapist.) And good, kind, considerate older men that actually care for the younger women they’re involved with will have to understand they’re the exception. I wish equality, respect, and kindness were standard operating procedures in these scenarios (and in the world in general), but they so often are not.

Older women usually don’t have a problem with decent men that treat the young adult women (or women of any age) they see with consideration. Some of them are just wondering out loud why they seem to be so hard to find.

Now let’s actually address jealousy, if it is indeed applicable. Plenty of older men, who are attracted to women around their age, get more than slightly miffed when they find out some of those women prefer younger men. They don’t like the fact that there’s nothing they can do to be appealing to those women.

Such is life.