During the national championship, both LSU’s shit-starting superstar forward and her rival did what they were supposed to do on the court. They both had good games.

I am completely uninterested in the extracurriculars. If you want to focus on Tonya and Nancy-style drama, you’re a fan of something, but I don’t think it’s sports.

Myrtle, if you want to clutch your pearls, do it over 75% team three-point shooting.

What’s that, you say?

You heard me right.

You’d think the person that contributed most to that stat would be Iowa’s shit-starting superstar point guard and player of the year that bombs threes from the logo like Steph Curry.

You’d think that, but you’d be wrong.

Instead, it was accomplished by two Louisiana State University bench players that should be getting the majority of the attention.

Guard Last-Tear Poa went two for two from beyond the arc.

Guard Jasmine Carson was absolutely unconscious out there. She hit all but one of her eight shots, five of which were threes, including an out-of-this-world bank shot to close the half. She was the Tigers’ top scorer with 22.

One starter, forward LaDazhia Williams, was LSU’s third leading scorer with 20 points.

Another starter, guard Alexis Morris, was their second leading scorer with 21.

If you want to blame the referees, just note how rough and rugged it was out there for both teams, especially in the paint. Players threw elbows left and right. The officials tried to clean it up before it became an all-out brawl. Maybe they overcorrected. But both teams were in foul trouble, not just one. The team that played the rest of the game instead of the refs adjusted more effectively for the win.

Let’s say the zebras swallowed their whistles instead and the Hawkeye’s Wooden Award winner got her elite-eight and final-four average. Do the math. That’s 11 more points … and Iowa still would have lost.

One last gripe. I know some like to refer to university students as “college kids” when we don’t like their behavior, worry about it, or try to excuse it.

Answer me this: what were the athletes in question playing for? That would be the NCAA Women’s College Basketball National Championship (not an elementary school recess pick-up game).

If you’re going to base adulthood on politeness and maturity, a substantial percentage of the long-time grownups you actually acknowledge as such don’t qualify (*cough* Kim Mulkey *cough*). No, this is not a sneaky justification for manipulating the compromised, insecure, and unconsenting. Miss me with that infantalizing, patronizing nonsense.

I’m going to praise the women of color that actually made the difference in the game.

To the Victorias go the spoils. These words are their flowers.