Men–have you ever been sexually harassed?  What was it like?

Answer to Question 1: Yes.

Answer to Question 2: It sucked.

Definition: “The making of unwanted and offensive sexual advances or of sexually offensive remarks or acts, especially by one in a superior or supervisory position or when acquiescence to such behavior is a condition of continued employment, promotion, or satisfactory evaluation.”

The key words in that definition are unwanted and offensive.

People (especially men) who think they would love someone to approach them romantically and sexually and wonder what the big deal is invalidate their claim from the beginning.

They’re imagining getting romantic and sexual offers from people they actually want that attention from (i.e., they’re imagining desired and pleasurable interactions, the very antithesis of the aforementioned definition).

They also can’t imagine why someone would turn down “offers” (not seeing them or themselves correctly as the potential threats that they really are).

The number of times I’ve been sexually harassed is less than five.

Think about the Me Too movement, how it took off like a rocket, and consider the fact it’s still substantially underrepresenting the actual incidents of sexual harassment, assault, and rape (especially faced by women, even more so by women of color).

Think about how many girls and women stop counting the number of times they’re sexually harassed (or lose count of how many times it’s happened to them) because it’s just that commonplace.

Think about how often girls and women develop strategies, signs, and shortcuts they can quickly share to counteract situations, individuals, and organizations most likely to tolerate and encourage rape culture.

Sexual harassment is awful. But it’s exponentially worse for girls, women, and feminine-appearing individuals because of how society still structures and upholds everyday sexism and misogyny.